Ew, food.

7 Mar

It’s the kind of thing that should be kind of funny, or at least ironic. Here I am, the fat chick who can’t/won’t eat. It’s been ongoing for a while, that I just haven’t been hungry, but over the last few weeks, it’s switched. I’m hungry all right. Also, constantly at a low-level of nausea that makes everything look unappetizing.

For a while, poptarts were the only thing that sounded good. I’ve tested things out, and now, I can eat cheese, hummus, breads, poptarts and peanut butter. Occasionally, I can deal with meat or chicken, if I’m willing to feel sick as hell afterwards.

So yeah. Dropping weight, but I’d rather not. I don’t believe in diets, or weight loss, I believe in health at any size and finding a way to move that doesn’t hurt you. Unfortunately, I haven’t found that yet, but I’ll get there.

I miss food. I miss chicken and lunchmeat. Lunchmeat is really bad right now. I looked at the turkey breast sandwich this morning and almost hurled. Which is really sad, since I used to love Wawa’s turkey subs with pickles and mayo. Now, I’m not sure what I could eat there. Probably not much. I need to get some decent grilling cheese and portabellas. Even cold, that would be tasty. The work lunch room is on a different floor, and we can’t eat smelly shit downstairs, which would mean taking 10 minutes of my 30 minutes to go up and get back in a one elevator building. Not happening. That’s what peanut butter is for.

Enough rambling for now. I must begin work now. *sigh*


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